It's down to only a few weeks before I get to see my bundle of baby boy. I have only one more work week and then I can lay in bed all day and be able to breath! :) And wait for his BIRTHDAY :)
I have the Craziest dream about you son and more than anything I JUST hope that you are HEALTHY in every way! I feel the excitement of christmas eve waiting for santa to bring you gifts and spend time with the family. In a way I dont want you to come out and I will miss you! :(
I havent been able to enjoy him completely and it breaks my heart I feel like I have let him down already. Overall, its been a good experience but its been nothing what I would hope a pregnant woman would have to go through.
I will definalty be there for those who were in my position. Actually a lot of my firends are pregnant now so thats exciting that were on the same page. Every woman should be treated special especially when there creating a little one inside of em:) This is definatly a time in a womans life to be spoiled so the baby can grow healthy and strong and happy inside ;) My friend Ashley is due in November and it was nice to be able to spend time with her and share our pregnancy stories together.
It's an amazing feeling and crazy to think about what is going inside your body! I didnt really feel like I was MORE emotional. But I am a senstive woman and I think so more now. I would get teary eyed over silly things like commericals or things that wouldnt bother me before. Being a single pregnant woman I would feel really lonely most times and HATE seeing couples....I know thats kind of bad. But I didnt like to see kids either. HA like when there crying in the stores or something I was like UGH!
Anyway, I love holding my nephew though and each time I do I picture holding my own son. And I can't wait!!! I get really nervous about being a good mom and teaching him what I need to. Its funny how babies will just stare at a picture of Christ! I really do believe they can remember where they just came from and the veil hasnt been completely lifted :) Maybe thats why we can't remember anything either. Jk I think there is something so special about infants and how innocent they are.
I Love and respect my momma so much more for everything she went through and she DID it! And thank her and my dad for all the help and support :( I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!! They keep me up and going. I want to give up so many times not sure if its satan or what but I feel like I can't do this sometimes. But I know that I can.
My family and friends have been great support and I want to thank you all for it!! Here are a few pictures I took. Now mind you I am 8 months pregnant not sure how great you can look and having a photographer like my mom It was very difficult to get any good pictures. Cuz I was talking her through the picutre so I wasnt smiling in a lot of them :) ha anyway, I am glad that I got some though of him in there.
Today, on the way to work I felt a sense of peace I guess you could say that I was suppose to go through this. Up until now I didnt think I was living my life the way it was suppose to be and it depressed the crap out of me cuz all I wanted and wished for was to rewind time change things for the better. I was suppose to find my true love someone who was compatable with me. I mean I did keep those boys away for so long growing up I knew there was better out there. I really wanted someone special and didnt care for dating or the whole boy scene until college. Anyway we were to get married in the temple have successful jobs and A beautiful Family :) Granted I have sinned and made some mistakes but as far as being where I "should" be I think it really is where I am now.
Of course our father in heaven doesn't want us to go through any of these trials and only if we were all perfect we wouldn't need to. But I personally feel that each one of us goes through what we need to for us to have a better understanding of this plan and life and to return to our Heavenly Father as smarter beings greater faith :)
What has always been the hard part to accept is that I know better I do have a testimony of life and God and yet I chose certain things to put me here! But let me tell you people I would not of been who I am today. Not that I judged people and thought less of them but I did judge myself according to their acts and always thought. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT!? I WOULD NEVER!!! Key word NEVER. :( ha and look at me today:) I have a bigger heart for people in certain positions and can understand why people do things they do or atleast love them regardless. Now that I have experienced what I have I can be a tool for others and help them out maybe help them look at the bigger picture. Or they may have to go through it themselves to understand but I will be there as a friend. Anyway, it feels good to finally accept me for me as of the person i am today. And to know that I am not perfect and no one is and that I am aware of what I need to do for the future. I may fall even more but its a continous lesson learned this life and I am grateful for it. I would of been those souls up there telling my father no you dont have to test me I promise I would follow you to a T. I wouldn't do that!!! Well, thats why he sent me here:) I love this little guy in my stomach and I know he would be a blessing to anyone if I chose to adopt him out. I really feel that I can teach him all that I know and be a good mother:) As far as the father goes. I think you will be happy to look into the eyes of the man that really loves and cares for you and wants nothing more but for you Michael to be happy. WOW! alright didnt think i was gonna be writing all of this..But here it is :) I have always kept a journal and I am glad to be introduced to this blog thing cuz I can put pictures and type faster than write so I might get a little personal as the blogs go by but its ok. Until next time.
The food was ok but for the price it made it work out all nice. Aeris was excited to open her presents she laughed and giggled the whole time. The best part was seeing her face when she saw the monster puppet, It was gleeming joy for perhaps a lifetime.
I love you Aeris 'My little Aftan' your just as goofy as I was. Your a spitting image of me when i was younger. You make everyone smile and you are just a gorgeous soul with a lifetime of fun ahead. I wish that you had a camera on you 24-7 so I could watch my princess and her magical adventerous she creates :) Happy Birthday!!!
